consider this the preamble

I've never done this before and I feel a little ashamed to admit that. I'm a writer by trade. Well, sort of. I've been an editor at my student paper for the past two years. That hardly qualifies me as a writer, but I guess I would like to be one some day when I grow up. I guess that's why I started this blog. I am grown up. But I don't feel like it. I'll graduate college with an English degree next semester and I'm scared shitless. I've done pretty good as far as accomplishing life goals so far; on paper I look pretty good. I have good grades, people like I've had some pretty cool girlfriends, and I was the youngest editor at my paper ever. But in the end that stuff doesn't really account for much.
For most of my adult life I've gotten off on the fact that I was better than other people. I not that sounds conceited, but I'm just being honest. I smoke a lot of pot. Or until last week I did. But compared to my stoner friends I was way smarter. I got good grades. I liked good books. I watched intelegent films. I understood philosophy. I liked poetry. But the closser I get to end of university the more and more I'm realizing that this is all going to end. I'm no longer I child progidy. I'm going to graduate without having read Hemingway, Dickenson, or George Eliot. I can't spell very well. The more I think about becoming a famous writer like Malcom Gladwell the more I realize that it's probaly not going to happen. I'm probably just end up writing for our local alt-weekly and getting married and having kids. On the good days I'm alright with that. On the bad ones it scares the shit out of me. I am grown up. My life has begun. And this blog is the first step in helping me deal with that.